So, I've recently found a new song. It's called Bittersweet Memories and it's by a band called Bullet for My Valentine. The first time I heard this song, I fell in love with it. Mostly because it represented my situation greatly, and it hit close to home. I felt like I was singing the song (even though I can't sing. AT ALL). I felt the emotions, and it reminded me of the relationship (or lack thereof) between me and this guy I like. I'm a junior in high school, and so is he. We've been friends since the ninth grade, and I've liked him since the second semester of freshmen year. We've only got one year left, and then I'll probably never see him again. Just the thought of it makes me really sad. That's why I say this song is reminiscent of our (my) situation. He sings of being left with only bittersweet memories. And after graduation next year, that's all I'll be left with. Memories of me and him and our friends hanging out and having fun in AP Biology, Literature, and US History. They'll be particularly bittersweet because they are all happy memories that make me smile, but then I'll get kinda sad because I'll remember how much I liked him, and how much I wanted to be with him. And I'll remember ninth grade, when we were the closest. In first period lit class, we sat directly across from each other, and we would always talk about stuff, and he'd give me gum. This was the first time I was introduced to the wonderfulness that is 5 Gum. On a less sappy note, that was the best thing that EVER happened to me. Introducing me to 5 Gum was the start of a wonderful, lovely gum addiction. I haven't stopped chewing that gum since. In fact, I bought a three pack the other day, and all three packs were GONE in like a week. (Sad...) Anyways, back to our regularly scheduled sappiness...I'm gonna miss him so much when we graduate. And when I look back over my high school years when I'm older and married and have kids and all that, I know I'm gonna remember him. I know I'm gonna feel very bittersweet. They'll be bittersweet memories. I'll probably think about whatifs. What if I told him how I felt? What if he liked me back?(Huuge what if there.) I'll think about the missed opportunity to tell him what I felt, and even if he didn't return the feelings, I should be happy that I got the chance to tell him. But, I know how I am. I'm so ridiculously afraid of getting hurt (again...) that I'll risk never telling him. Life isn't like the stories I read. There isn't always a happy ending. I'll admire him from afar. That's okay, because as long as I get to see him, I'm ok. As long as I get to see that beautiful face and those beautiful eyes one more time, I'm okay. I don't wanna say goodbye to him, but I know I have to. *sigh*
~Keria P.
