Change

I have come to realize something about myself. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I don't like change. At all. Even if it's the slightest change, I find myself resisting it. I just do not like changes. Now, I'm about to go through one of the biggest changes in my life. I'm about to graduate high school. Everything is about to change. Drastically. I honestly don't know how I'm going to deal with that. I won't see the same people everyday and there's a good chance that I won't be at the same school as most of my friends. I'm probably gonna end up alone and that kinda makes me sad. But I'm excited at the same time. I'm ready to go out there and do things with my life. To do that though, I'm gonna have to get over my irrational fear of things changing and moving forward. To progress in life we have to change anyway right? So I don't understand what it is about me that resists change so much. Is it because I like things the way they are? I don't want to have to start over from the beginning. But as much as I resist and shy away from change, I understand that it is necessary. Necessary for us so we don't become stagnant and stale.

*sigh* Going away to college is probably going to be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. Because it'll involve some of the biggest changes of my life if I want to be successful. I can change, it's just going to be hard. At some point, I have to realize that this year is going to be the last time I'm going to see some of the people at my school. I'm gonna miss some people and who knows? Maybe I still see some familiar faces in college too. We won't know until we get there. Despite all my misgivings about change and college and all that, I'm excited. It's a kind of nervous, anxious excitement that probably won't subside until I finally walk across that stage, get my diploma, and actually start college. I actually can't wait. But that's months from now. (Actually not a long time from now.) And besides, I have other, more pressing issues to deal with. Like prom. That's only like a month and a half away from now. I so can't wait for that. (It's at the OMNI.) These last couple of months are gonna be so exciting.