Interracial Couples

So, we're in anatomy and we're talking about interracial couples and if your parents would have a problem with it. One thing you should know about me is that I. Don't. Discriminate. Seriously. I will date someone of any race. Period. It's really stupid to discriminate against one race because 1) it limits your options. Why would you    EVER do such a thing? 2) Its a very narrow minded thing and it screams that you're still living in the past.

I just feel like you should try to find someone who makes you happy, no matter what race they are. Heh, I kept telling my mama that I was gonna marry a white guy (I still do wanna marry one. Don't care what anybody says). But, despite my favoritism towards white guys, I still like guys of other races. I'm not gonna date just white guys and hope to find the right one. I'm gonna date a plethora of guys and the one I like the best, hey, we'll see what happens.

Some people don't like it and to those people I say, Eff you! Quite frankly, your opinion doesn't count and you're just angry that you can't find anyone and bitter about your lack of a love life. So there. If you don't like it, you can take your close minded opinion and shove it up your ass. Here's a memo if you haven't gotten it yet: This is not the 60s anymore, it's 2012. Get with the program.

Freshman Me Was An IDIOT!

I was sitting here, going back and reading some of my old posts here on this lovely blog. And I realize several things:

1. Freshman Me really was an idiot.
A shy, clueless idiot. Yup. That was me. If Freshman Me knew then what Senior Me knows now, my high school life could have been completely different. Like if a certain incident on 300 hall never happened, I probably could have kept a close friend close. When I look back over that one, singular moment, I wish Senior Me would've ran in right then and told Freshman Me that the whole idea behind it was really, really, really stupid. Like stupid with a capital S. Like why would I even consider such a thing now? Oh right, I wouldn't because that'd be stupid. Why did I even let her talk me into doing that? Oh yeah, cuz Freshman Me was an idiot.

 2. Up until the end of 2011, I was an emotional, sappy ass kid.
*sigh* There's no way I can really explain this without embarrassing myself. But, dang, those times were hard. For me, at least. But even then, could have been completely avoidable. If only at that time I was less fragile like I am now. I was back then, for lack of a better term, a punk ass bitch. So many things got under my skin back then. And I was still growing into myself, and still had a LOT of insecurities to deal with. Plus there was that other thing (see old emotional ass posts for clarification) that I was dealing with that was ALSO completely avoidable now that I think about it. I was just such a sap. Really. Glad I grew out of that (for the most part).

3. Senior Me knows better now.
In the past year and a half, I've learned a LOT. And I've grown. A lot. As a friend, as a student, as a person. If senior year hadn't happened like it happened, I promise you, I wouldn't be the person I am today. If I hadn't gotten out of magnet, I guarantee you I'd still be that emotional, shy, stressed idiot. The people that I've been around this year have helped bring out part of my true personality that I don't show to many people (and that magnet tried to stuff away). Not the shy, quiet, dedicated student, but the loud, outgoing, happy person. The one that loves to laugh and just generally act retarded. That one. It's been a good year so far, and if it hadn't happened like it did you'd probably be looking at a different person right now.

Life

Life is hard sometimes

It hurts, it throws you for a loop

It twists and turns, spins and whirls

You never know what's going to happen

Life is fun sometimes, though

It's happy and carefree and lively

Basking in the joy that it brings

There's so many different facets of life

From one thing to the next, it's always something new

Expect the unexpected, it's a motto for life

And life has lessons to learn sometimes

The things life throws at us makes us better people

Help shape the people we become

Life has so many things in it

Joy, sorrow, pain, laughter

It's all apart of life

They say life is the biggest game you'll ever play

And if you win, the reward is great

My advice to you is to just keep playing

Survive the hardships, play your game right

Never forfeit the game

And you'll never regret it

Because life is rewarding sometimes

Change

I have come to realize something about myself. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I don't like change. At all. Even if it's the slightest change, I find myself resisting it. I just do not like changes. Now, I'm about to go through one of the biggest changes in my life. I'm about to graduate high school. Everything is about to change. Drastically. I honestly don't know how I'm going to deal with that. I won't see the same people everyday and there's a good chance that I won't be at the same school as most of my friends. I'm probably gonna end up alone and that kinda makes me sad. But I'm excited at the same time. I'm ready to go out there and do things with my life. To do that though, I'm gonna have to get over my irrational fear of things changing and moving forward. To progress in life we have to change anyway right? So I don't understand what it is about me that resists change so much. Is it because I like things the way they are? I don't want to have to start over from the beginning. But as much as I resist and shy away from change, I understand that it is necessary. Necessary for us so we don't become stagnant and stale.

*sigh* Going away to college is probably going to be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. Because it'll involve some of the biggest changes of my life if I want to be successful. I can change, it's just going to be hard. At some point, I have to realize that this year is going to be the last time I'm going to see some of the people at my school. I'm gonna miss some people and who knows? Maybe I still see some familiar faces in college too. We won't know until we get there. Despite all my misgivings about change and college and all that, I'm excited. It's a kind of nervous, anxious excitement that probably won't subside until I finally walk across that stage, get my diploma, and actually start college. I actually can't wait. But that's months from now. (Actually not a long time from now.) And besides, I have other, more pressing issues to deal with. Like prom. That's only like a month and a half away from now. I so can't wait for that. (It's at the OMNI.) These last couple of months are gonna be so exciting.

OMG, It's 2012!

There is only one day left in 2011. Think about that. Let it really sink in. That means in about 24-ish hours, it will be 2012. That means that I will be that much closer to graduation and starting a new life as a young adult. And it also means a whole new year to do things right and not to screw this year up. A time for renewal and reinventing yourself and trying to become a better person. It's time to say goodbye to the old and hello to the new. Time to let go of things that have been holding us back in 2011 and be free and liberated in 2012.

Time to get rid of the bad things and habits that have been plaguing you this entire year. I, for one, am trying to leave things behind me that I don't need. I'm going to try to leave behind the hurt from this year and all the insecurities that have been bothering me my entire life. I'm dedicating this year to reinventing myself and doing a major personality overhaul. There's some things that I have been holding onto that have been detrimental to my success and maturity as a person and I'm gonna let all of that go in the next 24 hours. I'm starting fresh this year. I don't want anything holding me back as I move into the next stage of my life. I'm ready for change. I'm tired of the same old stuff haunting me and following me throughout my life. Quite frankly, I'm sick of it. And the final semester of my senior year is the perfect time to get rid of it all. I can't have that kind of stuff with me as I get ready to head off to college and be on my own.

I'm gonna do some major soul searching in the next 24 hours and decide what I need to leave in 2011 and what I can carry over to 2012. But, one thing I know for certain is that something's got to give. And I'm the only one that can create that change in my life to be able to better myself. No one is going to put a gun to my head and force me to change. I have to be the one that wants to do that. And I'm so ready for it. Have been for years, I had just been so caught up that I didn't even realize it. I need to stop being so safe and be more out there. Life is not going to wait for me to catch up, and if I continue to drag my feet, life is going to end up passing me by and I don't want that to happen.

So, 2012 is an opportunity to come into the year, a new person, a better person. And I'm not going to waste this opportunity like I have so many years past. Because if there's one thing I've learned in 2012 is that life is short and you should never waste any opportunity to better yourself and live life because you'll never know when that day will be your last.

ITS CHRISTMAS TIME!!!

Its that time of the year again. That oh so stressful, but great time of year for family, presents, and all around good times. What time is that, you ask? Christmas time, of course! Its the time that people love and hate all at the same time. For the school kids, Christmas means semester finals, and the stress that goes along with them. But it also means christmas break. Two weeks of no school and lots of new things. A time most of us have been waiting for since August. For parents it means lots of stress buying presents and being stuck with their kids for two weeks but also means joy when they see their kids faces when they find out they got the thing they've wanted the most for Christmas. For everybody, Christmas (or whatever holiday you happen to celebrate) is a great time to make more family memories and have lots of fun.

This year for Christmas I will be taking a trip to my home state of Louisiana. I'm excited to go because I havent seen my family in forever. It's going to be so fun. We're going to take our presents and everything. And there's a slight, slight chance we might even go to New Orleans to watch the Saints game! I've always wanted to go to one, I've just never had the chance. So, yeah, that would be amazing. Its gonna be so great seeing my family again, and eating all the food too. (My auntie makes the BEST cakes and pies ever.) I can't wait.

And also around this time, most people are preparing themselves for new years. We're only about two weeks away from 2012. Wow, I can't believe that time has flown by so fast. I'm that much closer to graduation. This first semester kinda just blew by me. I can't wait to be in college. I know that then I have to be responsible for myself, but I'm excited. Really excited.

Hope everyone has a fantastic break!

Happy Holidays!!! :D

Imperfections

The other day I was just thinkin about some stuff. Random stuff, really. And I just thought about how all the time I say that a whole buncha things are wrong with me, and if only I could do this better, or if I looked a little better blah blah blah,etc. etc. etc. And then I realized I wasnt meant to be perfect and that even if I was, perfection would be so boring, because there'd be nothing about me that was interesting. It would just be the same old stuff, every single day.Blah. Anyways, I decided that I would not be the person I am without my flaws and so I wrote a poem about it, and I basically come to grips with all of the flaws that I have. 17 years in the making. Took me this long to realize that our flaws and imperfections make us the people we are today, and for some that may be bad, but for me it's actually okay.

Imperfections

Nobody's perfect, that's what they say

But, sometimes, I feel that nothing's perfect about me

Imperfect

But, then, I'm amazed by my flaws

Happy that I'm not perfect

Perfection, what is it?

What does it look like?

Does anybody really know?

It's a question I ask myself everyday

But, then, I look in the mirror

And I'm in love with what I see

Who needs perfection when perfection is boring?

I'm imperfect

Perfectly imperfect

Absolutely in love with me

I love me, flaws and all

Everything about me is beautiful

My flaws are exceptional

My imperfections are wonderful

Why do I need perfection...?

When everything I need...Everything I want

is found in myself

and my imperfections.

<3