Sunday, August 22, 2010

Life...

Well first of all, I would like to say that this is my 1st official blog. Hehehe. I have a blog now! Anyways, I jus wanted to get all this stuff out that I have in my chest. I wanna know why does life have to be so complicated as you get older? Why can't things stay simple like when we were kids? Where the most complicated thing you had to deal with is what tv shows you were going to watch when you got home? Now, everything is about boys and school and home issues and self confidence and all these compicated emotions and hormones that you have to deal with. I hate complicated issues. Why can't we take it back to the simplicity of childhood and all its joys? I want to be a little kid. I do not want to grow up fast like all the other kids are wanting. I want my innocence, and I want the simple things. You never realize how much these things matter until they are gone. I mean now everyone is talking about dates to prom and homecoming, and I realize that I don't want to have to worry about all of that. All I want is to go to these events with my friends and have an awesome time instead of worrying about some boy who doesn't even REALLY matter and will eventually only become a blip on the radar of your high school years. I just want to chill with the homies and worry about myself and my own independence before I start to have to worry about someone else besides myself. I want my freedom, and the ability to do what I want, when I want. Life as I've gotten older has almost jaded me. I'm not as naive as I was, and I'm most definitely not as innocent as I was as like when I was like 4. I know that life isn't all fairytales and happy endings now, and I know that there are some real tragedies out there, and I feel like all I want to do is hide from this reality, and fall into myself for a little while, because there everything is good and happy and nothing's painful there.
I just wish there was something out there that would make me believe in happy endings and optimism again, that life wasn't just a hard and painful reality, that it can have shimmering moments that take your breath away and leave you speechless. I'm waiting, praying, and hoping that that something comes to save the day and make my psyche right again.
Sincerely,
Keria P.